we just lie about it as we become shadows of ourselves.

EDIT........

i think that today may be one of my favorite days. pretty much i had my first real interveiw for newspaper today. i drove myself up to starbucks, got some coffee, and sat down with jenny to talk about her life. i was profesional but still friendly, not cold. this interveiw was so amazing. i was so scared for it, but she was great and im just proud of myself at this point. im sure anyone could do this, but i did it. i did it w/o saying or doing anything stupid and i did it well. i asked good questions and got plenty of information and i am just so happy. i doubt my abilities so often that its amazing to know that i can do this. it will take some getting used to the class and the people but i can do this well. im so happy. this was such a good day. i love it.

"i just want to hold you in my arms. far away, this ship is taking me far away. far away from the memories of the people who care if i live or die. i'll never let you go, if you promise not to fade away."-muse

........end edit.

i love that we serve a god who understand that sometimes we will need to be showered with love and embraced by him, sometimes we will need face the facts and suffer through the pain that they bring, and somtimes we just need to have fun and be reminded that everything is in his control. i love serving a god who is constantly surprising us. i love that we serve a god who just wants to love us and be loved in return. i think that more than anything, that is how he made us in his image, with love and longing. back to school retreat was amazing.

i like escaping family, life, and the world outside of jesus and my brothers and sisters. i like escaping quite a lot, thank you.

his.

Savannah Janae

Currently Listening The Bends By Radiohead see related

 i need this girl back. now.

i want to lay in bed and wallow with a carton of ice cream, my sweats, and almost famous until i feel better. unfortunatly i have to read and do homework for the rest of summer so no wallowing for me.

Currently Listening De-Loused in the Comatorium By The Mars Volta see related

i went to get free movie tickets and see superman with lyssa, tabea, brenna, and cambria and it was so much fun. superman was better than i was expecting too.

ive decided that having the best friends in the world makes me happy.

his.

savannah janae.

umm...comments. yeah. i want them.

Currently Listening Something to Write Home About By The Get Up Kids see related

i love this girl. she's my favorite and i miss her emensly. i thank God every day for blessing me with a best friend and sister so amazingly sissy.

so i was thinking about my last post and heres my thoughts on it. every once in a while i have like a week were i just feel very uneasy. i've been thinking a lot about my life and everything that i want out of it, and even if God has that planned for me but it doesnt matter. for the last year i was trusting god completly but i was trusting him because i knew my life would be better because of it. thats bull. my life is better because i trust god but mission trip was the most amazing week of my life and it would have been a complete waste if i didnt take everything that i learned in texas back it would be tragic. i miss it every day. last night was the first that i didnt sleep in my sleeping bag. i wish everyday that i could go back but until i have a time machine thats not happening. it cant. in fact wasting my time wishing for that is just going back on everything that happened. its saying that what i felt in Arlington is most important and its not. God has given me people to love here and whether it makes me feel better or not isnt relivent. its not about me. its about serving God and showing people his amazing love. it would be so tragic to come back and feel so sorry for myself because i cant be there. who do i think i am?i know that absolutly none of that made sense but i just needed to type. its therapy.